john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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