i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
