I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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