all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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