Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
