Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
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last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
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Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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