Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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