maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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