Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
bring money and cleavage
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
