so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
