I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Randomize
