I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize
