Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
