Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize