im drinking this country out of the recession.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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