He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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