shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
