I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
