if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
