You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
