That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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