i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
