I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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