I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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