we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
