If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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