dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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