We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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