i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
