So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
