Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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