I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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