she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My ass is underappreciated
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I supernannyed him into submission
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
