How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
