What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize