Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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