i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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