there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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