doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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