We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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