I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
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your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
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words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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