Me too!
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I understand Curling. That high.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
