Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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