btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
