She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
