i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
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