Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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