idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
