you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize