I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
worst night to have a conscience
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize