OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?