cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.