I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.