At least make sure they are 18
Why
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you have to choose: penises or morals?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He felt like a one man threesome
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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