I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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