your thong is hanging out like whoa
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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