his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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