he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
