Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
