If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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