Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
